*Lost Coin Notes January 27, 2009*

In traditional Zen practice a student would practice the arts, having sitting practice and also a work practice.  We have to think of these aspects of our practice too.  Zen is not just sitting.

3 Fold Zen:

Great Faith

Great Doubt

Great Determination

Great Doubt comes up most often but it is still hard to explain.  Be a traveler, a warrior, not fooled by ideas that aren't true.  Great Doubt is not buying into all of these things that you've been told.

The story of your life is not like a storybook.  Life will not wrap-up nicely with a "ending."  Life will just cut-off.

Things we think and are taught are great, are not great.  Is life worse because of "the economy?"  IS that true really.

Doen tells of close friends who are very wealthy and how one of those friends told Doen that the worst fear you can experience is waking up being able to afford to do anything but feeling like you've already done it all and there's nothing more that you want to do.  This man's wife is a painter. She would paint poor; she would paint rich.  Her experience is being the painter.

The "happy ending" of life is NOW.  If you leave your story, then there is happy left.  There is freedom.  This freedom is now and only now.

Great Faith is the conviction that you personally can be free and achieve this.  Even though imperfect, you can do it.

The Warrior sees this as a challenge.  Work on the imperfection but don't let it stop you.

Great Determination is needed because things are not easy.  Trying to do even simple things can be very challenging, such as sitting every day.  You'll fail at times but you get up the next day and do it again.

Adding to the reading list.  The Hard Way by Mark Jenkins.  Art of Learning by Josh Waitzkin.

These books talk about the opportunity to push the envelope; to pursue things that are not happy/sad, good/bad, just challenges that you can overcome.

Happy is a problematic word.   How would you know you're happy?  One measure would be to wake up happy to face your day.   If you don't wake up happy to face your day, you probably are missing life.  Life should be "the way"- you should look forward to your pursuit of the way.  The difference is not to change your life as much as to change your feelings about your life.

In Carlos Castenda's books he discusses the Tonal and the Naugal.  The tonal is the everyday.  The Naugal is beyond thinking.  If you need to make something better than make yourself better.  Then you'll be happy.  You need to focus on the Naugal to change the Tonal.

Dissolve the story and what are you left with?  On the tonal level are you getting stronger or weaker?  Do you have more personal power or less?  Is your being growing or diminishing?  Are you focused on right or wrong, or are you getting things done that you need to get done?

Think of cage-fighting.  If Aaron or Sterling Okura go into the cage to fight and they get hit.  They cannot think about right/wrong, fair/not.  They cannot have emotional interest in why things are unfolding as they are.  They must just fight as they are trained to.  This is self-improvement.   This is wanting to know how to improve yourself, not putting things off on the other guy.

What is win?  A Samurai was prepared to kill himself if he failed to accomplish his goal.  This is integrity.  Not about win and lose but about accomplishing your way.  Win because of your spirit, because of integrity, because better-trained.  This is "winning" because it is the Warrior Way.  It is the way of self-accomplishment.

**  The class talked a lot about what about when someone is hurting the world, or people, or an individual or an organization.  What about when an individual is creating suffering by his or her attitude, words, actions.  Isn't it being a Warrior to stand-up to that person and help that person see that what they are doing is hurtful or wrong?

Talking about being right, being wrong, winning and losing, and standing up for oneself, holding ground, not being pushed over, has changed the energy in the room.

What is it?  It makes people angry to be told that they should be angry.  It makes people angry to put the responsibility for accomplishment on the self rather than prevailing against the perceived "wrongdoer."

Really look at your anger and how it feels when you are in it.  Notice how it works out for you.  Please spend time noticing your angry self when you are in the emotion and watch how it plays out for you over time when you are stuck in that anger.

Think of this.  The grand wizard of the Klu Klux Klan has a story.  That story would explain a lot about his fears, his anger, his understanding, his history, his upbringing.  In all, he would probably be able to sum it up as "I'm a little hurt."  Anger is a defensive mechanism to combat fear and sadness.  If you said to the KKK Grand Wizard, "don't be so right."   He wouldn't accept that.  When you take that attitude of being right about your own perception because of your fear, your anger, your understanding, your history- you are being JUST LIKE THE KKK Grand Wizard.

BE STRONG BY MAKING YOURSELF STRONG, NOT BY OVERCOMING OTHERS.
